Ninja Channel
by Tobi'sgoodgirllovesSasuSaku
Summary: Request from sweetreject. Ever wonder what Kishi and Team 7 did before Naruto? Well apparently, they tried to be a Lucky Star with the Lucky Channel. Crack, hopeful parody of the Lucky Channel from Lucky Star, and slight SasuSaku.


**A/N: GG here, with something just a wee bit different. See, I was talking to the oh so amazing sweetreject, and she said that I should try doing parodies. So, I thought about it, and thus came up with what you are about to read. So enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Lucky Star. If I did, there would've been a little thing at the end called Ninja Channel like there is at Lucky Star. And for Lucky Star….more mentioning of animes that do not have enough love!(see favorite anime list for more details)**

* * *

A middle-aged Japanese man sat in a chair marked "Producer", sipping out of a big bottle of water.

"Naruto, you got that camera ready?" He called out. A young blond turned his attention to him as he was finished taking care of cameras.

"Ready when you are Kishi!"

"Good! Sasuke, Sakura, you two ready?" He yelled. A pink haired girl and a raven headed boy were looking over their scripts while on stage before it was time to go on.

"Ready!" The pink haired girl shouted out. She was wearing a girl junior high school winter uniform, the sleeves of it coming past and covering her hands.

"Why am I the assistant?" the raven said, onyx eyes glaring at Kishimoto. He was wearing boy high school junior's uniform, the shirt being tucked into his pants.

"Because I'm the producer, and what I say goes. Got it?"

"Yeah yeah."

"Good! Naruto, get the sign ready! We're on in 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1!" He said, counting down with his fingers. Music soon began to play as a sign with the words Lucky Channel was seen on the screen.

"Lucky Channel," Sakura shouted, knocking over the sign like she was supposed to, "Hi! I'm your navigator, Sakura Haruno!"

"And I'm the assistant, Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke said in a bored tone.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, you need to be more energetic about this! Let everyone know that you're full of life, just like the show!" Sakura said, waving her arms around.

"Hn," he said, turning away from her. She sighed heavily, leaning on the table in front of her.

"Of course you'd say that. It's expected coming from the man who's got the world's largest stick shoved up his ass." Sakura said, waving her hand at him. "It's no wonder people think that you and Naruto are secret lovers."

"What?!" shouted both Naruto and Sasuke. Both were twitching at the horrible thoughts that had popped into their minds when she said that.

"Well, it's only natural. You don't show any interest in girls, and have so far only showed any form of bonding with Naruto. In fact, I've actually become a supporter of you two, seeing as how it's inevitable." Sakura said, taking a swig from her water bottle.

"I am _not_ gay," Sasuke said, getting over his twitching.

"Sure sure, whatever you have to tell yourself Sasuke-kun. By the way, did you know your name contains uke, which is a gay partner? And is usually on the bottom when the two have inter-"

"I think that's enough Sakura!" he said, clapping his hand over her mouth. "I'm pretty sure we don't want to scar our viewers for life. Right Kishimoto?" he asked. Kishimoto shrugged his shoulders as he took another sip of water.

"I don't care. Do whatever the hell you wanna do with this show. I'm just a producer." He said nonchalantly. Sasuke stared at him in disbelief, not even wanting to know why he didn't care.

"B-but Kishi…"

"Well then, if there are no objections, let's teach these people something!" Sakura said, removing Sasuke's hand. "Naruto, why don't you come over here for a minute?"

"No way! You couldn't pay me enough to come near that teme!" Naruto shouted out at her. "Besides, how can people think I'd get involved with someone who has chicken-ass hair?!"

"I do not have chicken-ass hair!" Sasuke shouted at him. Sakura patted his back enthusiastically.

"Yeah Naruto! Sasuke-kun here doesn't have chicken-ass hair! It looks way more like a cockatoo! Right Kishi?" she said to the producer.

"To me, he looks more like a duck butt than anything, if you want my honest opinion." Kishimoto said, staring intently upon his hair.

"Can we get off the topic of my hair and back onto what we were doing before?!" Sasuke shouted, wanting the hair taunts to stop already.

"Right! So since Naruto won't be a helper, than I guess it's up to me to show you all what a uke is!" Sakura said.

"Yea-Wait what?!" Sasuke shouted, remembering what they were doing before hair taunts.

"You heard me. Now come here big boy." Sakura said, trying to be seductive while moving closer to him. He backed up faster and faster until he finally just ran away.

"Stay away from me!" he shouted as he ran. She jumped off the stage and ran right after him.

"Naruto! Make sure that camera stays on them at all times!" Kishimoto shouted from his chair. A quick nod from Naruto indicated he would, and soon was seen taking off in their direction. He ran down the hallways, trying to find the two by their voices. He soon stopped to catch his breath, and then heard their voices coming from a room.

"You think we lost them?" asked Sakura's voice.

"Doubt it. But he probably sent Naruto after us, so we have some time before the dobe finds us." Sasuke said.

"How long do you think we have?" Sakura asked.

"Well, since he's a complete and total idiot," at this Naruto scowled while he heard Sakura giggle, "We've probably got at least two hours."

"Sasuke-kun, you know I don't like it when you call Naruto names."

"Hn." Naruto rolled his eyes when he heard this. _"How poor, sweet, innocent Sakura-chan can stand that teme is a mystery to me."_ He thought to himself.

"Anyway, sorry about before, what with the pointing out of the uke and the hair jokes." Sakura said apologetically.

"It's part of the job. You really don't have a choice with this stuff."

"I know, but I still feel the need to apologize." Naruto could practically see her face being sad and apologetic. And then he could just see Sasuke standing there without even caring about what she was saying. Soon though, Sasuke's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Well, if you really want to, you could always…"

"No way! I am not doing that Sasuke-kun!" Naruto's ears perked up when he heard this. _"What does that teme want Sakura-chan to do?"_ he thought.

"Aw, come on, you've done it before. Now why don't you want to do it now?"

"Because we're supposed to be working right now! In fact, if you hadn't run from me, we would probably be done by now!"

"Come on, just a quick one. And besides, it's your fault for making me run."

"How is it my fault?! You're the one who ran away!"

"Only because you were acting like you were gonna jump me at any minute."

"…"

"Hn. Guess I win." Naruto could practically see the triumphant smirk on his face when he heard this. He then heard Sakura let out a sigh.

"Fine, I'll do it." Naruto heard Sakura move in the room, and then suddenly it became quiet. _"Too quiet for anything legal to be going on."_ Naruto thought._ "I've gotta save Sakura-chan!"_ And with that thought, along with the camera rolling, Naruto burst into the room to save the day.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan," He shouted as he broke the door down. "I'll-" He stopped dead when he saw that Sakura and Sasuke were a little preoccupied at the moment, due to the fact that they were lip locked. "What the hell is going on here?!" Naruto shouted. Startled, the two broke apart, Sakura a bright red and Sasuke scowling murderously at Naruto.

"Oh! Uh, Naruto, we uh, d-didn't see you there, uh…." Sakura stuttered, trying to regain her bearings.

"What'd you want dobe?" Sasuke said, still scowling at him. Naruto glared at Sasuke, and both were soon in an angry staring contest.

"Why the hell were you kissing Sakura-chan teme?!" Naruto shouted out at him. Sasuke's scowl turned into a smirk at the question.

"Isn't it obvious? We're together dobe." Sasuke said, wrapping an arm around Sakura's waist. Naruto just stared at the two in disbelief, his vision going from Sasuke to Sakura and back again.

"S-Sakura-chan, is this true?" He asked her. She nodded quietly, her face still a bright red. "Why am I never told these things?!"

"Because you begin to freak out like you are right now," Sasuke stated.

"Well fine! Don't tell me that you two are together! Now if you need me, I'll be with Kishimoto." He said, and then closed the door on them. When he was gone, Sakura turned and stared at Sasuke.

"Well that was…odd." She said, lacking a better word for his behavior.

"Hn. Like I care. Now, about that apology…"

* * *

"I can't believe they didn't tell me!" Naruto cried out, overdramatic tears running down his face. Kishimoto sat next to him, reading a magazine.

"I can't believe it's not butter!" Kishimoto shouted, coming to a certain article. Naruto snapped out of his depression to turn and stare at him.

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

"Oh sorry, it's this article in here. Pay no attention to me like I am with you." He said, going back to the magazine. Naruto glared at him, slightly shocked that he didn't care.

"How can you not pay attention to this?! The love of my life has gone off with my mortal rival/best friend! It's like some kind of bad romance movie! Only this time I won't get the girl!" He shouted out, the tears beginning to fall again. Kishimoto sighed as he watched him cry over seeing his friends kissing.

"It was bound to happen Naruto. After all, stuff like this always happens in the city of wonder." He said, taking another sip from his water. At this, Naruto decided to begin singing a song that he had heard yesterday.

"Your mind's in Disturbia! It's like the dark before the light. Disturbia! Am I scaring you tonight? Disturbia! Ain't used to what you like. Disturbia! Disturbia!"

"Naruto let Rihanna do her job."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, since those two are _**finally**_ a couple, we can't use them for the show." He said, flipping through the magazine.

"What?! But why?"

"Well, the hosts of this show have to be going at each other's throats. They can't act all lovey-dovey behind the scenes. They really have to hate each other's guts!" Kishimoto said powerfully.

"So…who do we choose?"

"Eh, just go to the junior high school and pick up some chick with a bad temper, then go to the high school and get some dude who wouldn't mind being an assistant."

"Oh! I know the perfect people!" Naruto said, jumping up from his sitting position.

"Really? Who are they?" He asked him, curious as to whom he might know that fit that description.

"Well, there's this girl named Akira who acts all cute and innocent, but has a really bad temper. And then there's this guy named Minoru who'd be perfect as an assistant!" Naruto explained. Kishimoto smiled at him.

"That a boy Naruto! Now go get me those people!" He said. Naruto stood up straight and gave him a mock salute.

"Yes sir!" he said, before running off.

"And make sure you give me a copy of that camera tape!" He yelled at his retreating form.

"Okay!" he shouted back, and was soon off to find his people. Kishimoto sighed, going back to reading the magazine in front of him, finishing up the rest of his water.

"_I give this special…21 episodes. Then the assistant goes crazy and destroys everything relating to this show. Yeah, that sounds about right."_ He thought, and then left for home.

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A/N: Yes, I am aware of the fact that the Lucky Channel technically lasted for 23 episodes, but the show itself was basically dead at episode 21. Poor Minoru, I LOVE YOU!!(glomps him)

**Minoru: Uh, thanks for your support.**

**Me: No problem! Now, leave reviews, and you'll receive a Minoru plushie!(holds one up) Isn't he adorable?!**

**Minoru: Wow, I have a plushie.**

**Me: Of course you do! You're a main Lucky Channel character! Well, until next time, JAA MATA!!**


End file.
